Pet therapy

This week, I had to take a personal day.  The premise started out simply that the dog threw up really early in the morning.  So, after cleaning that, I was wide awake....and extremely sick to my stomach.  Whatever she got into made her smell like death! 

As you can imagine, I didn't go back to sleep.  Instead, I went about the business of getting ready for work.  Then I realized that the dog wasn't quite right.  Usually, if she throws up, she's fine and dandy after.  Fresh as a daisy, as it were.  Not this time.  She was trying to snuggle me and whimpering....and gassing me out of the house!  Call me crazy - yes, I realize she's just a dog - but I couldn't go to work with her in that condition.  I would have worried about her vomitting in her crate all day long.  That's no way to be. 

Thankfully, my boss is a dog owner and my work was all caught up.  I took a personal day to stay with the whimpering pup. 

She slept in my lap all day long.  Literally, all day long.  There were a few times she went outside, but she'd come right back in, curl up in my lap, and fall asleep.  Somewhere around lunchtime, I realized that even though I stayed home for the dog, it was really me that needed the snuggling. 

Having a puppy all snuggled in my lap, warm and twitching in her sleep, was good for my soul.  During the periods that she'd go outside and play, I did some cleaning that was long overdue and made three different butters.  I fixed the photos for my blog during her naps.  All of this stuff was severely stressing me out.  I realize that sweeping, dusting, and nut butters shouldn't stress a person out, but it does.  Dirty houses stress me out.  Lingering, unfinished projects stress me out.  Feeling like I don't spend enough time focused on my family stresses me out.  Fixing some of those things felt cathartic.  And quite frankly, parts of my work stress me out, so NOT dealing with that was blissful too. 

I'd hoped to end my cathartic day with some yoga, since I still have my 10 day pass, but the highway to the studio is closed!  Guess that's my cue that I'm just supposed to be in my home and with my family....no where else.  

Stress and coping

Is stress during wedding planning necessary? I’m beginning to think that it is. Or maybe I’m just overly sensitive because of the emotions a marriage congers up. I know for certain that I’m more emotional. I can read a touching wedding recap or a line of poetry and well up these days. Usually those are the really warm-fuzzy sort tears, but crying at the drop of a hat is not really my M.O. I’m not generally one ruled by emotion. I’m a Libra! I’m logic-driven. Yeah, that’s all out the window these days. I just let ‘em flow! I’ve ceased trying to hide it, since I find something touching enough to make my eyes water several times a day at this point. It’s a very unique sensation for me. (And I just literally started crying from the episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" in the background that I'd already seen. Oh brother.)

While it’s nice to be overwhelmed by the good “Oh my God this man really loves and wants to marry me and be my partner is awesomeness” feelings, I am desperately trying to avoid the “what were we thinking trying to have a wedding?!” feelings. So, I am doing things to avoid panic and reduce stress whenever I can. One thing I am trying to be very diligent about is going to the gym. I joined DURING the planning process, and oh my goodness does it ever help! Have a bad day…..go zone out running or pushing something around. Yeah, that works for me. I’m also trying to be on-top of tasks as they pop up instead of pushing them off. For example, my homemade Christmas presents were done the day after Thanksgiving so that they didn’t get lost in wedding chaos and never done. I try to do something for the wedding every day, and that helps me feel like I’m current and in charge of it instead of it being in charge of me. Oh, and wine and friends help too. Then there is my best friend, the therapist, in the background of my mind saying....."Are you breathing. You don't sound like you're breathing to me. BREATHE! There, does that feel better?" Gotta love her.

So, here’s to as low-stress-as-possible planning and living. Think it’s possible? Yeah, me either! Heh. But it’s worth a shot.

Very cool image from Photobucket.

Why a blog?

I was admittedly unaware of blogs in their entirety until very recently, when I told my betrothed that I was sick of the malarkey being doled out by the magazines and the big wedding websites. See, I do not feel there is a right and wrong for ALL WEDDING KIND! Just a write and wrong for us, and even then there are some grey areas. The must-do, never-do, oh my goodness what ARE you thinking sort of talk just pushed me over the edge.

Feeling defeated, I proclaimed to my betrothed that there was nothing good to read about weddings. Period. He asked if I'd bothered to read any blogs. Well, there are blog sections on The Schmott. "Those aren't blogs." "Oh?" "No type 'wedding blog' into Google." "Oh my goodness!!! Where to start??"

Thus discovering REAL blogs. By REAL women. What a wondrous thing! How smart and funny are you?? I haven't looked back. (Well, barely. I flip through the big wedding mags, but I've ceased buying them en masse.) I started with the saavy Sara and her oh-so-money saving ways. I read their entire story. Then I moved onto Meg! Oh my goodness, oh do I feel that we would be friends. I literally read her entire blog from beginning to current. I am now in the process of reading all of Peony's blogs from the beginning as well. I felt motivated and inspired after reading about the journeys of these amazing women. I also thought.....how cathartic! Then I read this entry, and it reminded me of exactly why we are holding a wedding. So, I feel I need to try this.

So, here I am, trying to express what it means to be going through the process of throwing a wedding and starting a marriage.....again. After failing so miserably at the first one and often being made to feel that I somehow do not deserve this. But they're wrong. Everyone deserves this. Everyone deserves to be loved and to give love, even after failing. And I am so grateful to be given a chance to do so by such a good man as he.

Image by Ruby Doll Creations on Etsy! Just lovely.