What the camera doesn't show

The stereo system fought us all night.  The husband was sore almost our entire honeymoon from literally leaping over the bushes again and again trying to fix the issue in time for the ceremony.  He worked his butt off from the moment we got to the venue till people forced him to stop and put on his tux.

The only moments of panic/stress I had were while driving to the venue with a car full of stuff we’d worked SO hard on, worrying that it wouldn’t come together like I’d envisioned.  Then again when blood started dripping down my cheek where I’d catapulted a hot curling iron into my face while touching up my makeup.  Yeah, the smack from the hot iron didn’t panic me.  Blood a couple hours later from the wound right before the pretty dress went on was a tad worrisome!  

Our bridal party (minus one), my mom, and a couple close friends did not stop until the venue looked fantastic.  Period.  It was hard work....but all I heard what “what can I do next?” until it was all done.  And when we were close enough to done, everyone insisted that I hand over the reins and enjoy the rest of the day.  And I did.  

 

My brother was petrified he’d ruin my day (which is a far cry from the truth...he ADDED so much to it) and was way more nervous than I was.  I had to calm him down when Hairdresser Bridesmaid told him that he was in charge of making sure my train was spread out properly.  I saw panic setting in and immediately told him that I didn’t give a rip.  

 

I lost two friends because of my bridal party selections (one that was included and one that was not).  People don’t really talk about those sort of things, but it happens.  

 

The cakes were massacred instead of cut.  The groom’s cake looked like a chocolate death scene!  Especially since there had been a “battle in minis” on top of it prior to being hacked at.  Our photographer said she had to WORK for a pretty photo.  And I believe it.  I saw the table.

 

My husband’s family REALLY was happy.  I swear it!  Apparently it’s just not their style to smile in formal photos.

Turn out the lights.....

I haven't posted anything about the wedding in ages. (Blame the dog!) So, it seemed high time. Our night dwindled into a gathering of just our close friend, gathered around two of the tables that we'd pulled together....enjoying the last of the open bar. We'd long since given up on the music due to technical difficulties and were just enjoying each others' company. It was a great end to a very good day. And it felt just the way we hoped it would.....blissful, peaceful, and successful.

Rock the Reception

Have you heard of the show Rock the Reception on TLC? When I first saw it, OH, how I wanted to do it! But, my husband is NOT a dancer. He was not hip to the idea at all. As you all know, though, he did attend dance lessons (rather lesson....singular.....as we never made it to a second lesson) with me. It was a huge testament to the fact that he'll do just about anything to make me happy. Dance lessons made me over the moon.


The reason I bring up Rock the Reception is not because we attempted anything like that, but because it may have looked as though we did. Our song, Everything by Michael Buble, started. We started dancing. Then about 30-45 seconds later, the music STOPPED. Just stopped. We'd has issue with the sound system all night. Turns out the speakers we borred from the husband's job were too powerful for the outlets provided by the venue. Now, to be fair, the venue flatly denies this, but the speakers worked again when we moved to new outlets.....until we blew that outlet's fuse too. We switched outlets about 4 times during the evening. Now, in Rock the Reception, the music stops, the guests gasp, then some funky dance beat starts and they break it down. We did no such thing. Our stoppage wasn't for theatrical effect. It was simply a technical malfunction. And I did not hear gasp one out of the crowd watching. So, there.

And what did we do when the music stopped?! We laughed. Yup. I also threw my arms up and yelled "FAIL!" while laughing. My hubby and the honorary techie for the night set to work and start the song again within a minute. We didn't start the song over. We didn't abandon the song. Nah, we just lined our feet back up and started again in the middle of the song.

This is where the music stopped.

This is right after I threw my arms up and
proclaimed the epic fail of the night.

We'd practice and practiced, but we hadn't anticipated the music dying. Who cares though?! We still had our dance, and we have some pretty killer photos of it too!

Drained

Yesterday left me utterly drained. First, Monday felt like it lasted for roughly 72 hours. After that, my zumba class took it out of me. Then a situation with some friends took a turn for the worst. Now, I feel listless and have nothing positive to say.

So, I'll leave you with this...............

His big, cheesy grin mid-ceremony.

My big cheesy grin when pronounced husband and wife!

Photos by A Love Story Photography.

Best speech ever. No, seriously.

So, if you read the post I referred to yesterday on the hubby's D&D blog, then you might be curious about this speech that he mentioned. Well, the speech was by his best friend/best man/our former roommate/the guy that got to see us fall in love first-hand. Best man is a very unique person. He's one of those people that you either LOVE or HATE.

Speaking of hate, that's how the best man's speech started, "I hate (the groom)." Then a long pause when every guest (and my brand new husband and I) drew in a collective huge breath because no one knew where this was going or what was happening next. Where do you go from I hate my best friend, really?!

Apparently where you go from there is to a level of sheer brilliance that no one expected. He moved on to give a little background between he and the husband and of his experience as the outsider witnessing the birth of our relationship. It was very touching. I'm AMAZED neither of us cried.

Then......he proclaimed that our vows were lacking, because he knew us and felt that we'd missed a few things. He made us go repeat-after-me style. First, he made the new hubby repeat things like: "I'm wrong, you're right" and "Yes, I want to watch that cooking show with you".


Then me. Mine were cruel. "Yes, I want to play Dungeons & Dragons" and "In fact, I want to roll a character RIGHT NOW!". To which the hubby almost pulled out his iTouch to pull up the dice application. I literally cringed. He'd done the unthinkable. He made me vow to play in a D&D game. I cannot tell you how much that pained me, but I think the look on my face speaks volumes. I guess he finally got me back for tricking him into eating a turkey burger over two years ago and telling him after he'd proclaimed it delicious!




And back to hate....he ended the speech by saying that the reason he hated my husband so much was because my husband had raised the bar on friendship to a level that most people just cannot match, and thus had changed what he expected a friend to be forever. I think that says something, don't you?

It was an epic speech. People are still talking about it. Nichole, our photographer, said that in her years of wedding photography, that may have been one of the best speeches ever. And yet....no one got it on tape. No one thought to video our speeches. I'm okay with it though, because I remember how it felt to hear those words, to laugh to the point of tears, to be moved by our nearest and dearest, and to be honored by their words.

Photos by A Love Story Photography.....Please note the glee in the husband and the best man's eyes as they're making me vow these things. For reference, I am playing in the husband's next campaign. I'll be sure to give you the scoop as it happens. I'm scared to death!

Beat of a different drum

Shortly after we discussed getting married (decided to get married really, just no ring yet), I found the song I wanted to walk down the aisle. I asked my not-quite-fiance to play anything instrumental on his iPod that he had. One song came on and, BOOM! I knew. It was a song that set a tone for all the other songs in the ceremony. Our lineup was as follows:


Bridesmaids' March: Instrumental version of World Can't Tear Us Apart by Trivium
Bridal March: Nothing Else Matters (a Metallica cover) by Apocalyptica
Recessional: Instrumental Version of Still Alive (from the video game Portal) by GLaDOS


Obviously, not your traditional wedding music. We definitely decided to throw tradition out the window on this one. I absolutely loved it! It was really beautiful, and I felt like we snuck a little something in without anyone noticing. Trivium is one of my hubby's favorite metal bands. Metallica is one of my brother's favorite bands, and I love that particular song. Still Alive is a twisted little song from a video game that we (and all of our friends) love by a great songwriter. And most importantly, it made us happy.

Photos promised, photos delivered

Before the wedding....my uncle came to let us know we only had seven minutes till "curtain". (There's a "good" version of this photo, and this emotional version. I like the emotional one.)

This speech about how proud he was of me and how wonderful he thought my very-soon-to-be husband is was the only thing that had me well up that day. To hear him tell me he's proud and to have his approval.....wow. My maids were behind me (some in tears at this speech, but it ended in a joyful uproar of laughter when he announced that now we only had five minutes!).

Enjoying the view after a job well done.

Yeah, just try to take this smile away! Dare ya.
(There is one of us looking at the camera....but I love the emotion in this one way better.)

The hubby is drinking and looks stressed because of the chaos that ensued when they realize the license had been mislaid! I didn't know anything about it. The new husband and the proud uncle let me dance away while they searched for it!

He took his glasses off so they wouldn't gleam and ruin the photo....he just wanted everything to be perfect for us.

Pure love and joy. Now, how can you ask for more?! If you're in the planning process, please, please, please get someone that loves you this much and knows you this well and will look on you with this much pride to marry you. You'll thank me later.

All photos from the fabulous A Love Story Photography.

A complete charmer

Deciding on an officiant was so hard for us! We have a church affiliation, but neither of us felt particularly comfortable going to our pastors to ask them to marry us. Somehow, it just didn't feel right. We started thinking about friends or family that we knew were ordained. Again, no one felt ideal. Over and over, I kept going back to one person. He's not ordained, as far as I knew, yet he was really the only one I could imagine. Period.

It took me weeks to work up the nerve to ask him. Weeks! For some reason, the idea of putting him out or being rejected was so horrifying to me. It was all very silly, of course, but it was a very real anxiety. It literally took my fiance putting his foot down and telling me I had to do it THAT DAY in order to get me to do it.

You all know by know that it was my uncle that performed our ceremony, and that he was PERFECT for the role. I cannot even describe to you how wonderful it was to hear his voice say those words that we'd poured our hearts into. And he was so full of emotion, so happy for us, and his happiness was infused with every word he said. When the mic went out and he had to talk above the fountain....no problem. That man can PROJECT! And he looked at me with such love and uninhibited joy the entire time.

If I can give you any advice about officiants, it would be to go with someone that genuinely knows you.....someone that knows your heart. My uncle knows me very well, and he was just enamored with my fiance too. He even gave me a speech about how wonderful the man I choose this time around was. I know that sounds odd, or like an insult to my choice the first time, but it was actually quite touching.

Picking him was definitely one of the best decisions we made during out planning process.

So....pictures tomorrow. They aren't working (again) this morning. Boo!

My something blue.....an anklet that I made of blue glass bugle beads and mocha swarovski crystals. And I STILL love those shoes. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Photo by A Love Story Photography.

Worth mentioning

To follow up on yesterday's post about my brother, I have a quote from our photographer that bears mentioning here:

"He was, without a doubt, one of the most sincerely proud family members I've seen. Your wedding had alot of those... honestly, whole-heartedly, happy-for-you guests!!!"

This is why you get married people! I didn't need all that other STUFF to get married. But I think just maybe we did need the PEOPLE. I hope the appearance matched the actual moods - that our guests really were whole-heartedly happy. That makes all the headaches and heartaches worth it.

Plus if you're lucky, you get some kick-ass photos that show the emotion of the day like we did.

My brother's the best!

I know siblings have all sorts of relationships. Some are very close. Some barely know each other. My brother and I are definitely the close kind. I cannot imagine it any other way, really. He's always been my big protector and rescuer. I've always been the ear and the nurturer. It works well for us, and we've remained close even when we haven't been able to see much of each other. We go in spells of seeing each other a lot and then not being able to manage it.


When we decided that we would, without a doubt, be having a wedding, I knew one thing instantly. I wanted my brother to walk me down the aisle. I knew it before we announced the engagement. When we finally did announce it, it was one of the first things I squared away. I asked him and his response was "Are you sure you don't want Grampa to do it??" I told him I was 100% certain. Then he thought he'd made me think that he didn't want to do it! Nope, I knew what he meant by it. Then he hugged me and said he'd be proud to walk me.


He was SO nervous the day of the wedding. Tentative. Afraid to step on my dress or let me fall. Eh, he'd never let me fall! He told me that the music was beautiful while we were walking down the aisle and so was I. It was one of the highlights of the day and made me very, very happy. Plus, it was the first time he'd ever worn a tux. How handsome is he?!

Photos by A Love Story Photography

Pictures promised, pictures delivered

Us....starting our dance. Nice form, right??

This is when the music failed. I meant it when I said we laughed and shouted "FAIL!"

Admittedly, we don't look all cute and picturesque. Bad dang! Look at those SMILES!

Best photo of our dance....doing the rumba with my new hubby.

The ONLY photo of the dip and kiss.....which saddens me. Guess I'll just have to rely on the memory of how wonderful and romantic it was.

Photos by A Love Story Photography.

He makes me feel like dancin'

Our first dance ended up being quite an effort in love and patience. We were only able to take one lesson due to scheduling conflicts, so we had to depend on memory and a lot of practice time in our living room. We weren't great, but I thought we were certainly doing better than the "sway, sway, step" most brides and grooms do.

Our music came up. We assumed the locked elbow, straight backed position. Started to dance, and then......the music stopped. Yep. The sound system turned out to be too powerful for the outlets available to us at the venue (the venue disputes this fact but the speakers worked every time we switched outlets.....four or five different times during the night). Throughout the night, the speakers would inexplicable stop working. And it happened during our first dance, about 45 seconds in.

Thankfully, we simply laughed, kissed, exclaimed "FAIL!" together, and off went my groom to make the music work again. When he managed to get it running again, we started dancing from right where we left. We didn't start the song over or anything like that. Just simply finished our unfinished dance. We didn't pout or scream or refuse to finish. We were in such good moods that we literally laughed the whole time about it. It seemed "us" in a way. Imperfect and just right. He'd only done the first dance because it meant a lot to me anyhow. At the end, he lowered me into a swooping dip and kissed me. He'd never done that. It was one of my favorite moments of the night. I actually forgot all of our guests were there in that moment, and it was just us.

There was supposed to be photos on this post, but our network isn't cooperating. I'll post those tomorrow.

Expectations

You never know what's important to you in a wedding (not a marriage, a wedding) until you plan one. We were almost always willing to work with each other about how the day and the event would go....until we hit a few sticking points. And let me tell you, they were NOT the same points you'd expect!

My sticking points:

• The venue had to be able to accommodate both the ceremony and reception. I hate the idea of transportation between venues and dual rental fees.
• The food had to be great.

His sticking points:

• Saturday and Sunday ONLY. I brought up a Friday night once. Let's just say it didn't go well.
• There had to be some form of open bar.
• His bout had to be different than all the other bouts.

Thankfully, these were fairly easy to do and there were so few of them that we worked around each others "musts". I can imagine that there are definitely areas that clash in some weddings though. I have to say from my own experience, I was surprised that he had "musts". Stereotypically, brides are the ones that "have to have things a certain way", not grooms. But they have them! And really, that made me really happy to do things that mattered to him.

Have you run into any situations where the "musts" can't be combined? How do you deal with that?

The thing that started my DIY craze

This little box. So simple, yet I loved the idea. Just a few days after getting engaged, we attended our friends' wedding. We brought a card with a gift inside. A lot of people brought cards with gifts inside. What do you do with this card? It's so little. It's flat. It's in a non-noticeable, non-obnoxious color. How am I to assure myself that the bride and groom will, indeed, get this little gift. Well, there was a stack of cards, so I just added to the stack. Then in my newly engaged state, I searched for a way to deal with the card issue. I found the this idea on Do It Yourselves Weddings. I thought it was brilliant! It was also very affordable; way under $20 due to the use of lots of remnants and found items around the house.

The best part: people used it! It was stuffed to the gills at the wedding.

Photo by A Love Story Photography.

My favorite morning

I woke up the morning of our wedding in my own bed....our space bed. No alarm went off. I just opened my eyes, just before the sun. I was snuggled up and warm....right next to the man whose arms I'd fallen asleep in. I slept well. I got a full night's sleep the night before my wedding - a thing I'd been told was impossible to accomplish.

"It's Christmas!"

He gave a very sleepy giggle. Of course, you all know, I didn't get married at Christmas. :) We meandered to the living room and shared a pot of coffee, nipped with hazelnut liquor and almond biscottis that were left over from making the favors. I made a good, homemade breakfast. He played video games. I sat at the kitchen table and scheduled a couple blogs for during the honeymoon while listening to our wedding playlists. We practiced our first dance in our lounging clothes (except I had my wedding shoes on, which is pretty funny with pajama pants). Then we showered, and he ran out for a few missing items and lunch for us and two bridesmaids. We were together, alone, until about 1:30pm. We left the house an hour later, with the two bridesmaids and all of our booty for the wedding packed neatly into my Element.

It was the most amazingly relaxed morning I have ever experienced. Thanks to my wonderful maids (and honorary extra maid), everything for the wedding that could be finished ahead of time, was. There was nothing lingering that needed our attention. We'd even loaded the car the night before. All we had to do was shower, and I had to do my makeup. Everything else had to wait til we got to the venue, and there was no need to worry about that ahead of time. We were utterly calm on our way out of the house. The stress that occurred after we arrived at the venue was made far more palatable by our slow, stress-free morning alone. It just strengthened what I already knew about our relationship - together, we are far more likely to succeed at whatever we put our minds to and far more effectively and efficiently than we could alone. It made me even more confident in the vows we would be making later that day.

Alone time

I debated and actually sort of agonized over whether my husband and I should spend the night before our wedding apart. Did we want to tempt the fabled "bad luck" of seeing each other on our wedding day? It really came down to two issues.

First I had to research the tradition to decide if it even made any sense for us and who we are as a couple. That's how I decided whether or not to use almost every tradition attached to weddings. After a little digging, it turned out that brides and grooms were kept separate so that one party could not change their mind at the last minute based on looks in arranged marriages where the betrothed couples had never met. This is not an arranged marriage. The tradition of this stand point seemed lacking. I believe in our culture today, we're suppose to be kept separate to keep us from fighting out of stress. Again, if we can't work together during stressful occasion, we don't need to be getting married yet. Life is stressful, after all, and I chose to seek him out in times of stress, not avoid him.

Once tradition was thrown out the window, we had to look at practicality. I know that waiting to see him at the head of the aisle for the first time that day would have been far more dramatic and climactic. Other brides have told me that they didn't think they'd get the much of a reaction if they'd seen their groom all day leading up to that. So, I worried I was robbing us of this feeling. Worse, I worried I was robbing our guests of witnessing that heightened emotion. Semantics would have been a nightmare though. We did not hire coordinators. Our family and friends pulled together to set up the venue in an hour and a half....part of which I had to disappear to put my dress on and finish my hair. Our venue was a wide, open space. There was no way for us to both be in the venue at the same time without seeing each other. The practicality of avoiding one another seemed even more stressful than coming together to make this wedding ROCK.

After much thought and many conversations with one another, we decided that we really didn't want to be apart during one of the most exciting days of our relationship so far. No energy was put into staying away from each other. It actually added to the calmness of our day. It was a wonderful decision for us, and it lead to one of my favorite mornings ever.

On a personal note

I believe I told you all about the dungeon that magically appears almost every Saturday morning in our front room. Well, we found a way to bring the dungeon from our front room to our wedding. I had the idea of making the groom's cake a mock D&D board. I remember mentioning it during a sort of brain-storming session during our planning and watching my betrothed's face light up. He had no idea that could even happen (or that I'd want it at our wedding). I was all for it! It was actually high on my list of priorities, which made me spend a little more money and a little more time on it.


My groom took this idea and ran with it as well. He actually hand-painted every single topper on the cake. He made a host of epic "bad guys" and made each groomsman as part of the "good guys". Those figurines represented a character that each groomsman had played in a game with my groom. It was their gift to take at the end of the wedding. Oh yeah, my groom made the trees out of twisted copper wire as well. This cake was truly the most personal thing my groom had to represent him, his hobbies, and his friends at the wedding. It was a total hit too! Those that understood it (and it was a small group) absolutely loved it.


Oh, and it was delicious too.


Photos by A Love Story Photography. Cake by Delicious Cakes! Figures by Reaper, painted by my groom.....one by one.....and some painted twice because he's a perfectionist.

My favorite detail

I really wanted to find something different for vases at the wedding. I didn't want to shell out for vases, and really, they just didn't have enough personality. That is to say that the ones I could afford had no personality. After looking around, I settled on wine bottles. I love colored glass, and I certainly do not mind cooking with/enjoying a glass of wine. Perfect. Well, sort of. I didn't like that they'd all be different labels. Then I didn't like them all naked. After quite a bit of playing around and searching the internet for ideas, I came up with "custom" wine labels. I used two of our engagement photos, found a lovely Italian phrase for the "name of the wine" and used two different quotes under our photo. I wrote the back label, complete with a description of the wine and a warning label. I printed the labels on cardstock and used spray adhesive to make them stick to de-labeled wine bottles. The bottles were a combined effort. Some were mine. The rest came from friends that loved the idea.


The finished product was so completely wonderful! People literally snatched them up at the end of the night. I put two away for myself, and there was actually only one spare bottle when we got home....out of 24 bottles! To me, that's definitely a sign of how much people enjoyed them. These were definitely my DIY pride and joy. A set is on my mantle, and I don't see them coming down any time soon!

Top photo by A Love Story Photography. Bottom by me. I'll post the wording on the labels tomorrow! :)

Details to die for

These were out wedding favors. We used lovely, plantable tags full of wildflower seeds. I actually wrote on each one of these tags in colors that blended with the wedding and the beautiful silk ribbon I'd been using. Each bag contained two freshly-made almond biscotti from Ravelin Bakery in Denton, TX. They're awesone! The biscotti were chock full of nuts and this lovely citrus zing. This tag and treat duo was meant to be a "now and later" favor. The sweet treat to remember us with your coffee the next morning. The little tag full of wildflowers that you can see well beyond our wedding as a reminder of being part of our day.

My betrothed (gotta come up with a new name for him!) and I formed an assembly line to put these little lovelies together. We were like a well-oiled machine! We knocked it all out in no time flat! I love that I have these wonderful memories of us coming together as a team to accomplish a common goal. We did it over and over during our wedding planning process. And you know what, we're a GREAT team! I thought we were, but over and over, that feeling was reinforced. This is why people get married. This and the love of friends and family.

This photo by the fabulous Nichole at A Love Story Photography. Go check her out. Now. Go on.