What is a wife?

1. Wife (as a noun) – A woman joined in marriage, spouse.

2. Wife (as a verb) – Rare.

Those are the top two definitions of wife on dictionary.com. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a dork. I look up all sorts of words that I think I know the meaning of, just to see if there is anything surprising. During the wedding planning, I looked up marriage, love, and all sorts of other related things.) The first is all I expected to find. I was totally unaware of the second. Did any of you know that “wife” can be used as a verb, much less to mean rare? It makes me wonder were along the lines of the English language was “wife” considered a rarity, enough so that it was used as a verb to mean as much.

My first attempt at wife-hood ended in abysmal failure, obviously, so I genuinely make an effort to “do it right” this time. I find that doing it right can mean so many different things that there truly is no RIGHT way. Well, that’s no help! No (bleep)ing wonder there are so many self-help books and Dear So-and-So columns! So, all I can do is make a concerted effort to be a good companion to my husband, to not take him for granted, to show that I love him instead of just say it……and maybe that’s all there is to it? Should it be harder than that? Or is it simply that simple?!

What do you all think?