Thursday, December 16, 2010

Reality escaped

In case you were unaware, I just love certain reality shows.  I’m a huge fan of Biggest Loser, Amazing Race, and Survivor.  I’m not heavy enough for the Biggest Loser, but Lord, do I find the show inspiring (while eating something fattening....yeah, I eat my worst while watching it).  I’m not rugged enough for Survivor (I’d burn to a crisp within a day).  Amazing Race is a different story though.  

For Amazing Race, I can have sunscreen.  And a partner.  And an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime experience.  To say that I’d do the Amazing Race in a heartbeat might be a bit of an understatement.  I’d go TODAY!  Just let me buy a better pair of sneakers, and I’d be gone.  Here’s the rub though, I don’t have anyone that would want/could go with me.  And you need a partner.  No partner, no race.  

They held auditions today at a casino about an hour and a half north.  One of my husband’s coworkers sent me a link and said she wanted to see me do it.  But again, no partner, no race.

I’ve pleaded with my hubby to go on the race with me.  He says there are more enjoyable ways to see the world.  And I agree.  But will WE ever have the funding to just go to some random destinations all over the globe.  Probably not.  We’ll hit a few, call it the highlight of our journey together, and that will be that.  His second issue is that we, as a couple, aren’t really suitable for television.  Our inner monologues, which we let be outer dialogue when in each other’s company, aren’t really the stuff that prime time television is made of!  Just as our dog trainer.  He’s heard us say some pretty bizarre crap in class because we forgot to turn our filters on.  Given that they force you into stressful situations on that show, I cannot imagine we’d take the time to remember the filter.  Yeah.  We’d need our own censor for sure. We’re not at all PC.

So, who else could I chose?  I’d love to run the race with my brother, but he has two jobs and two adorable little boys.  Add to that, he’s seen the world already while in the Navy.  And that’s really all I want to play for.  The money would be a nice cherry on the sundae that is what I feel is travel and lots of it.  So, he out too.

Who else?  Well obviously, my best friend.  And really, she and I would make FABULOUS television.  We’re kooky together.  Absolutely bonkers.  We very often get ribbed by waitstaff for our inability to stop giggling.  And really, the funny part about that is that we’re usually laughing so hard it hurts, with tears streaming down our faces, over things that make us MISERABLE.  Yep.  We’re laughing at ourselves most of the time.  And we’re total opposites.  We’d get ourselves into some sort of mess. She’d pray.  I’d curse.  We’d work together and get it done int he end and at least I’d be a better person for it, all the while leaving the viewing audience to wonder how on earth we ever became friends in the first place and annoying the other players by singing old camp songs in a round.   It would be epic.  But again, being an adult with responsibilities means that leaving to gallivant all over the world isn’t exactly doable.   And so, I don’t think she’d be able to go with me either.  

So, I guess I’ll just have to suffice with watching these shows and deciding “which one of us should do that challenge” from the comfort of my couch.  Then doing the responsible thing the next day....going to a job. 

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