Rockstar or dud?

Sometimes I feel like a rock star of a wife! Every day, I pack a healthy lunch for both of us. These usually include a main lunch item (either left overs from a dinner, a sandwich on some sort of whole grain or artisan bread with homemade spreads, veggies and meat, or homemade quiche) and at least two but preferably three snacks (like homemade granola bars or yogurt messes with plain organic yogurt and berries with kashi cereal in a bag on the side to preserve the crunch factor. The husband’s lunches even include his daily soda and silverware. This seems like a small thing, but it takes me at least 15 minutes every morning (or the evening before when I can) to do. It saves us money, and I feel good about us eating healthier foods instead of some drive thru garbage. I try to make a meal plan every week, grocery shop every weekend, and make healthy meals for us all week long. Again, seems simple enough, but it is a time consuming process. Thankfully, I love doing it. As a reminder (or if you missed that post), food = love for me. So, I love cooking for my husband and I think, hopefully, he realizes that I do it because I love him.

But then….sometimes I feel like the world’s worst wife too. Because, obviously, it’s about way more than food. By mid-week, I’m fairly beat down. I tend to leave the kitchen a mess after I’ve cooked instead of tidying it. Other little things go undone that I would normally do right away. And I get whiney. Really whiney. No one really wants to be around someone that, predictably, by Wednesday night is cranky and totally worn out. Being a good partner involves feeding your spouse emotionally not just keeping his belly full, and I fail at this one by the end of the week. I get self-absorbed in my dislike for certain areas of my life, and I shut down emotionally in order to keep from being so consumed by what’s eating at me.

Perhaps this is why he instituted the Friday Treat…..to snap me out of the end of week-malaise that I fall into. I just hope that he realizes that I don’t like this pattern any more than he does. And I also hope that it will lessen or maybe even stop when the situation causing it is changed. One can hope!

For now….beer, baby….and puppy!.....will have to be my reason for trying harder to be cheerful at home on the week nights.